Welcome to Possum Holler, a Redneck and Southern Humor Magazine

by Oddie Possum

The Doe I Bagged in My Tweety Bird Pajamas

© 2007 By Melanie Calvert, all rights reserved

I had been hunting for several days in late January 2007 and hunting season was ending. I had hunted the day before for six hours in the blistering cold. I can remember sitting there bundled up in my camouflage gear with my gloves and muzzleloader, watching my breath gently lift to the cold wind. Burr...just thinking about it now I still get cold. I had hunted hard too...trying not to miss the slightest movement in the tree line or bushes. With each movement, I thought, did a deer, the wind, or a squirrel cause that movement?

I had stopped hunting once, around lunchtime to eat a cold biscuit, along with a piece of ham from breakfast, and the simple meal really hit the spot! I washed it down with a bottle of soda pop, so you can believe after sitting and watching for a deer for hours, it all tasted much better than usual! The afternoon slowly crawled into evening, with the only thing showing was a white flag of a deer tails crossing the far side of a hill near four o' clock. Needless to say, I did not get anything that afternoon. So I retired for the night to the little country house where I was staying and prayed that the following day would be better.

The following morning, I awoke, went to the bathroom (as most people when first awaking). I came out of the bathroom and immediately went into my overnight case to get my morning medication. I had set the medicine case on the foot of my bed and was reaching into the case, when I just happen to glance out the bedroom window. Now you have to understand, I'm still dressed for bed, in a pullover gray-sleeved Tweety Bird shirt, and red pants with Tweety Bird in yellow stamped all over the pants. I am looking out in sheer amazement at a very large doe several feet in the back of the house.

My hunter's instinct kicked in and I decided to try for the deer. I had my moccasins on, so I slipped on my hunting jacket, and I reached for my gun, which was in the corner. I then wordlessly eased down the hall down to the living room, where my host was sleeping. He awakens as I enter the room, so I put my finger to my mouth and whispered "a deer is in the backyard". Now, he has had two dogs and they start barking loudly at this point. I grow angry because I suspect the deer has heard the barking and run off by now.

I eased out the front door quietly and moved slowly around the left front side of the house. As I move slowly, my heart is beating wildly in my throat. After a few moments, to allow my heart beat to return to normal, I peeked around the corner, saw her, and thought, Oh my gosh! She's still standing there, but don't get buck fever now! Take your time and do the job right.

As far as I was concerned, wild game is too hard to come by to allow a rush job, and she was looking right at me. Straight on shots are difficult, so I aimed at the center of her chest, because she was facing straight on. I took a deep breath and as I slowly released it, I gently squeezed the trigger!

The sound of my shot was deafening in the still morning air, but I looked to see her fall down, kick a couple of times, get up, wheel around, and fall down again kicking wildly. I knew from her reactions I had made a killing shot! I stood watching her for a minute or two, and then went back into the house to re-load my gun. I had left my powder horn and balls in the bedroom, which I regretted at the moment.

"She is getting' up again!” One of my friends' daughters yelled in a voice filled with excitement.

What? How could she get up? I wondered as I quickly reloaded my rifle, spilling more than just a little black powder on the floor.

I knew deer are a hardy breed of animal and sometimes hard to kill with the first shot. I went back out, saw she had moved all right, but not gone far, and had fallen by a fence. While I love to hunt, I dislike any animal in agony, so to end her suffering; I shot her once more.

As I lowered my rifle, I looked down and noticed I was still dressed in my Tweety Bird pajamas from Wally's World. I received them as a Christmas gift and still wear them on cold frosty nights. Well, that morning they proved to be lucky. I have killed many deer wearing regular camouflage, but never in pajamas! The humor of the situation was too much and I broke out laughing insanely.

You would not believe the ragging I have taken from fellow deer hunters, especially since it's considered primarily a macho male sport. Male hunters usually dislike a female hunters, I guess they see us as incompetents or threats to their male egos, but I don't find the sport all that challenging at times. After all, I didn't even have to change out of my Tweety Bird pajama's to get one, so what's the big deal guys?

I am happy and proud I put some meat in the freezer. Also, I had some made into mild smoked sausage, which I cooked and took to my mother's nursing home so she could enjoy it too.

Folks often ask me if I feel badly about killing the deer. Yes, I do feel badly about killing the doe, especially since my first shot didn't kill her, but when I think of my mother and my family eating something I personally harvested, I feel pride. It was well worth the kill, skinning it, and having it processed, knowing my mother loved eating it.

Visit Her Site Now.	Melanie Calvert Benton is the "better half" to Mule. Melane is known by the nick name " Foxy". She got that name  from being an CB radio enthusiast. Foxy's CB Handle is "One Foxy Lady."  Melanie grew up on a small farm in Meridian, MS , where she milked two cows and churned butter. After driving a country school bus for three years, she made the decision to better herself. Melanie went to a college of higher education and got a degree in  Respiratory Therapy.  Mrs. Benton at one time ran a photography studio and decided to make it her life long dream to be a professional photographer &  book cover artist. She really loves, deer hunting. photography, camping and torturing her husband . She prefers the low keyed atmosphere of a camping out and watching a night's fire to the profile life of a big city. Melanie is a true southern belle and can even act the part, when called for.

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