Readers Jokes

 

Jokes from our readers.

 

1. What is the differance between a hillbilly, redneck and coonass? Elevation. (Sent in by Stan Stewart.)

 

2. An oldie but goodie ~ The burglar was creeping noiselessly through the darkened home, filling his bag with various valuables. As he reached his hand out to a box of jewelry, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Shaken, the burglar stopped. For a full minute he didn't dare breathe.

 

Finally, he switched on his flashlight and carefully played it around the room but saw nothing. Convinced that it must have been his imagination, he turned off the flashlight and continued in his quest for another man's wealth. He was busily unhooking a stereo set when he again heard, "Jesus is watching you." This time he nearly jumped out of his skin, he was so freaked out. Beads of sweat popped out on his face, and as he switched the light on again, the beam shook violently from his terror.

 

He looked about the room and noticed a bird cage in the corner. Upon closer inspection, he discovered a parrot in the cage. "Are you the one that spoke to me just now?" asked the burglar. "Yes, I am," said the parrot. "Why did you say 'Jesus is watching you?'" asked the man. "Because I felt like you needed to be warned," replied the parrot.

 

By this time, the man was over his fright and was more than a little irritated at this smart-mouthed parrot that had tried to scare him. "What's your name?" asked the burglar. "Moses," the parrot said. "Hah," the man said, guffawing. "What kind of people would name their parrot Moses?" "The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus." (Sent in by D. Brown)

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You'll find photos on here that are spicy, but nothing nasty or bad.

 

JOKES from our readers.