Rednecks Mean

 

What they really mean

What they say and what they really mean….

 

1. It don't pay no neveh mind.

 

Means: It doesn't matter to me.

 

2. You make me so laugh.

 

Means: You're so funny.

 

3. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

 

Means: I am astonished!

 

4. I do dee-clare (One of them Yankee stereo-types of usn's)

 

Means: I am speechless, amazed, astonished, etc…

 

5. I haven't had but two beers officer.

 

Means: I am as drunk as a skunk.

 

6. She has a great personality.

 

Means: But, she is ugly as sin.

 

7. Instant grits would be just fine this mornin'.

 

Means: You a-gonna feed me that garbage again! I hate it!

 

8. Would you go to the store for me sugar? I love you.

 

Means: I am too lazy to go myself, and if I tell you I love you, then you should go for me. If you love me, that is.

 

9. Saturday I am going fishing with the boys.

 

Means: Saturday I going to the river, get fallin' down drunk with the boys, and not catch any fish. But, I will have to keep drinkin' beer until we get a bushel basket full of fish.

 

10. Oh, I was just talkin' ‘bout you.

 

Means: Crap, you would show up. If you only knew how much I dislike you and your ugly face. Now, I have to be nice to you so my guest won't think I am mean.

 

Have you ever wondered why?

 

Why will a woman spent four hours moving and rearranging the furniture, only to move it all back to where it was in the first place. And, they do all of that work just because a picture on the wall is not centered properly over the sofa. A man will say (in the same situation), ta hell with it and never move a piece of furniture in thirty-five years (Unless he is married, then see the first part of this paragraph). Also, the picture will continue to hang, off center.

 

Why a woman will say (when she meet's a female friend), “Oh, you got a new haircut! It looks great! I love the tints and highlights. It is just you ! My, my, look how it makes your face look ten years younger . And, of course, it goes well with what you are wearing! Come to think of it, it even matches the walls in your living room. I can't wait to go shopping with your to get clothes that match that hair of yours. Has your husband seen it yet? I bet that Pinky down at Momma's Hair Styles did that cut for you. He is so good. You know, I think I will go down right now and have him do me a complete hairstyle. What do you think about that?”

 

When a man meet in the same situation, “Nice haircut.”